SEXUALITY AND DISABILITY

Sexuality is an essential part of all of us no matter what our age, gender, health and physical ability may be. A spinal cord injury/impairment (SCI) or traumatic brain injury (TBI) does not decrease a person's sexuality and rarely does it destroy his or her interest in being sexual. Sexuality includes many areas of our lives.

ALL PEOPLE ARE SEXUAL

It is ironic that honest talk about sexual issues tends to be difficult for most people. Sex and sexuality are such basic components of human nature - yet they are often shrouded in mystery and misunderstanding. Perhaps it is because this is an area with many connotations depending on one's religion, culture, family up-bringing, environment, personal values, biological and/or psychological make-up or any of countless other factors.

Yet, all people are sexual in one way or another. This is also true for people with disabilities. A spinal cord injury or traumatic brain injury does not diminish a person's sexuality. Unfortunately, many people believe that people with disabilities are not sexual or capable of being so. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Certainly, physical disability may alter the way a person expresses sexuality or acts on it. The traumatic experience of a spinal cord injury or brain injury may profoundly change a person's feelings about sex and will almost certainly usher in a challenging and often difficult period of learning, change and growth. But, clearly, people with disabilities are sexual individuals with sexual desires and con-cerns. They should be treated as such.

Before my accident, I was like a lot of the public in thinking that people with disabilities are less sexual or not sexual at all. But I have realized that it is an integral part of a person.
--- Sherry

As Sherry notes, sexuality is an integral part of all of us. This is no more or less true for people with disabilities. Yet, perhaps the biggest myth about people with disabilities is that they are less sexual. This is untrue.

There are other misconceptions that surround sexuality. A partial list includes:

MYTH:	Sex means sexual intercourse.

MYTH:	Talking about sex isn't natural, proper or necessary.

MYTH:	Sex is for younger people.

MYTH:	Men should initiate sexual activities,

MYTH:	You shouldn't start what you can't finish.

MYTH: 	Sex should be spontaneous.

MYTH:	A firm penis is essential for satisfying sex.

MYTH:	Good sex ends with orgasm.

DEFINING SEXUALITY: Not just "Can you or can't you?"

When I first got injured, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to have sex any more. But I eventually realized that sex is more than just intercourse.
--- David

Sexuality is intangible and difficult to define in a single sweeping statement. In the broadest sense sexuality encompasses all the feelings, attitudes and behaviours that contribute to a person's own sense of womanhood or manhood.

Our sexual character tends to have both a public and a private side.

The public side is reflected in how we present ourselves:

• · Our personal demeanor and character;
• · Our dress and grooming;
• · Our professional roles and our roles as parents and partners.

The private side tends to encompass:

• · Our deeper feelings about affection and attraction,
• · Sexual interest,
• · Confidence or lack of confi-dence,
• · Sexual values,
• · The physical expression of sexuality either alone or with a partner.

Simply put, sex is not just a matter of 'Can you or can't you?" While it may include the physical act of sexual intercourse itself there is much more to it than that.

Components of Sexuality

• · Biological

• · Socio-cultural

• · Moral

• · Physical

• · Psychological

SEX: A difficult topic to talk about

Talking openly and honestly about sex is difficult for many people. Many people with SCI or TBI have told us that it is sometimes very difficult to get their questions about changes to sexuality answered.